Under Renovation

I transferred to a new church - with some amazing people in it - a few months back. I left a “mega-church” to attend a recently-started, English-speaking church in a predominantly Spanish area. A few weeks before I officially transferred, Forward Fellowship Church was able to obtain a new building to hold services in, instead of the community center we’d been renting on Sundays. The place looked great on the outside: four strong walls, a good roof, centralized location… But inside – it was empty, and it was a wreck.

Merriam-Webster defines “renovate” as:
1. : to restore to a former better state (as by cleaning, repairing, or rebuilding)

2. : to restore to life, vigor, or activity

We needed to renovate the building to make it fit for the life, vigor and activity that we dreamed would take place there. For weeks, people would come together and do just that. We tore out walls; we broke some things down and built others up. We rewired the electric, water and lights. We threw out the junk that hindered our goals by the truckload, and made some of the good things even better. The empty building began to be filled with new things that fit our purpose: flooring, chairs, tables, paint – just a few of the materials we needed to make it what it was supposed to be.

I’ve known Christ as my savior for seven years, and in that time, He’s renovated. He’s renovated me in order to make me fit for the life, vigor and activity that He dreams will take place within me. He’s torn out my self-righteousness; He’s broken down my temper and built up my love for others. He’s rewired the way I think, the way I speak, the way I act. He’s slowly but surely throwing out the junk that hinders the goals He has for my life, and He’s made the “good things” I did for my own glory become things that now I want to do for His glory. He took my empty life and began to fill it with new things that fit His purpose: patience, joy, mercy, passion for Him – just a few of the tools needed to make me into who I’m supposed to be. He’s renovating my life.

Forward Fellowship still has a long way to go before we’re finished with the entire building. There’s an entire room in the back that’s not being used: it’s filled with things that need to be taken out, removed and changed to become all that we confidently hope it will be. There are places where we still need to finish the floorboards. Total renovation is a slow process. In the same way, Jesus is still working on me, quietly – and sometimes not so quietly – hammering away at things that have to be removed. My pride, my apathy, my sometimes-tentative trust in His plan – those things and more are being slowly knocked out, worked on and repaired as needed.

That renovation is also called sanctification; becoming more conformed to Christ as He works in my life. Sometimes it’s painful. Sometimes it’s freeing. But it’s always bringing me closer to the life, vigor and activity that He plans for me.

“In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1: 4-6

So He keeps working away at my heart and life, and will continue to do so until I finally die. He loves me too much to leave me empty and broken. He loves me too much not to renovate.

Under the renovation of Christ,
Casey

Word and Deed

“Hey you do the sign language at church right? I see you every Sunday morning…”

“Aren’t you the waitress at the BBQ restaurant down the street?”

“Weren’t you that interpreter from the conference two months ago?”

All of these questions were posed to me recently. All of them are true, all of them said in a very sweet manner. But let me be honest: I have no freakin’ clue about who these people are.

The church that I attended from fourth grade until the end of August has several thousand people, so when people recognized me, it was normal for me not to know who they are. But, the guy who told me he’d seen me signing was in my new church, where we have a little less than seventy people attending… but I’ve never seen the guy before. The couple who asked if I was a waitress – yeah, also no idea who they are. They didn’t even seem familiar, but they knew me. The one who asked about the conference – I don’t even remember that job except that there were Deaf people in the audience, the lights were too bright and I was precariously balanced for six hours.

So what’s my point?

These people noticed and remembered me for my actions. They remembered that I do ASL, that I am a server, and that I’m an interpreter. They recognized who I was based on my actions.

I think that’s how Christ wants us to be. Every action, every word, every move that I make should reflect Jesus to the people who see me. If I've known someone for six months and they don't know I follow Christ by my words/actions, they deserve an apology.

I don’t like speaking in public. I am not the type of girl that’s going to be standing on the corner preaching about the salvation of Jesus. It’s just not going to happen unless God gives me a personality switch – but I can still be a witness for Christ.

I want to live out the gospel. I want people to look at my actions and words, and be compelled to recognize that God is working in my life. It’s said that actions speak louder than words; if my actions match the actions of Jesus, they’ll be louder than any words I could ever vocalize.

It’s an awesome concept: being the gospel of Jesus instead of just talking about it. It’s a two-edged sword of course. When my actions don’t line up with Jesus, when I don’t represent him in how I live, I’m not showing Him to my friends.

This isn’t something I have mastered. I’m a continuous work in progress in matters of grace and faith. Will you pray for me, as I aim to suite my actions to my words? I’ll be sending up prayers for you, too.

"Preach the gospel at all times. If necessary, use words."

- St. Francis of Assisi

In word and deed,
Casey

“Casey do you ever take off those rose-colored glasses?”
- A friend of mine asked me that question last week. It had been after I’d jokingly told her that I’d developed magical powers, because it seems like I can control what songs are played on the radio.

“Did you EVER fit in as a kid??”
- That question came courtesy of an un-courteous coworker, upon discovering I preferred reading to watching television, even as a child.

“It’s like you go out of your way to be intentionally weird.”
- My sibling, regarding my dislike of large social situations and tendency to ignore social expectations.

“You look crazy when you talk to yourself in ASL.”
- My other sibling, commenting on how I use sign language as a mnemonic device to study.

“Why can’t you just be normal?”
- ... My own thoughts this time…

-*-*-

“I have loved you with an everlasting love.” [Jeremiah 31:3]
- God’s voice, reminding me His love for me is eternal.

“As my Father has loved me, so have I loved you.” [John 15:9]
- God’s voice, reminding me I’m accepted just as I am.

“I am a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.”
- God’s voice again, reminding me that His faithfulness covers my quirks, oddities and errors.

“I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine…” [Song of Solomon 6:3]
- This time, it’s my own voice. Remembering that God created me, that I was bought with a price, that there’s no condemnation for those in Christ, that I’m a daughter of God. It’s my own voice, choosing to remember God’s words, choosing to remember His promises, choosing to remember His voice.

In the end, His voice is the only one that really matters.

Have You Had a Dose of Encouragement Today?

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Ephesians 4:29).

Today, Sept. 12 is National Day of Encouragement! I first heard about it at (in)courage and fell in love with the concept. One day, set aside just to encourage other people - I love it!

To celebrate, DaySpring decided to encourage me and others by giving away 10 absolutely BEAUTIFUL cards so that I could encourage and love on others.

I was so excited when the package arrived, and I immediately started thinking about which card would go to whom. When I say excited, I mean, EXCITED! While I plan on sending the rest of the cards out this week (I’ve decided that I’m making it my own personal Encouragement Week), one sweet friend popped into my mind for this day (and post!) in particular.

This girl is off the chain! :) She’s beautiful, inside and out. Her heart is bigger than Texas. So, I picked a card that reflected how she’s been on my mind recently – and I spent some time really thinking about what I wanted to tell her.

So: I used this particular card to tell her what an encouragement she has been to me, from text messages to FaceBook posts. I reminded her how incredibly special she is, from her sweet spirit to her bubbly laugh - head to toe, this chica is AMAZING! And lastly, I encouraged her to keep chasing God in every aspect of her life. This was a major point for me: her life, her actions, are an encouragment to others, and she represents Jesus in amazing ways. I don't want her to ever forget how much Jesus loves her, and is using her to show people His love!

Now, not only will my lovely friend have an encouraging note that will be arriving in her mailbox soon, this really helped me develop a deeper appreciation for my sister in Christ! I hadn’t realized how encouraged I would be simply by encouraging someone else!

Have you encouraged a friend lately? If you haven’t, today’s a great day to start! Are you in need of encouragement? I’d love to pray for you!

My prayer for you this week is this:

"May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word." - 2 Thessalonians
2:16-17

In every good deed and word,
Casey

The Unfairness of Life and Grace

A friend of mine, Tiffany, who went through a rather crappy situation was texting me the other day and she asked me what I thought about it. I told her I really didn’t know. Then she said something that made me stop and think for a minute. She asked, “Is there some life lesson in there somewhere, other than ‘Life’s not fair’?”

She and I have these conversations often. We talk about life, grace, grades, Christ and boys. I wanted to give her a wise answer that matched the depth of her question. So I thought…and thought… and thought. I don’t remember exactly what I said, but it was something like, “God never promised us life would be fair.” It wasn’t enough.

I can't disagree with her. Life’s not fair. I couldn’t think of one positive about the situation she shared. It sucked, and wasn’t the “it’ll be better tomorrow” type. In that moment, life just wasn’t fair. And that turned me to looking at my own life: my folks are dealing with their struggles. I have friends who aren't doing great right now. I’ve dealt with one financial setback after another for three months. I’m battling loneliness, and going through a season of change in my life. [Anyone who knows me even a little bit can attest to the fact that I don’t handle change well. I literally have a mini panic attack every time my folks move the furniture.] It seems like everything at the moment can fit in the “it’s not fair” category.

So how in the world can I tell my friend it’s going to be okay? She’s right: life’s not fair!

But – maybe there’s more to it than that. My mom’s motto when I was growing up was, “If life was fair, Jesus wouldn’t have had to die on the cross.” Not what I wanted to hear as a screaming six year old, but still accurate.

Here’s my conflict: I have to praise God that life isn’t fair. “Fair” would mean that I’m damned to hell for my sins, for my disobedience to God. The cost of sin – the things I do that go against God’s laws – by their very nature bring me death, but God’s love for me and you is so crazy and over-the-top, He offers us life through Jesus. (See: Romans 6:23 and John 3:16-17)

If life was fair, Jesus would not have died for me. Yet, He did. He turned karma inside out when He offered grace. The “eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth,” idea is over; that “as you sow, so you shall reap” stuff is gone. It’s only because of God’s willingness to chuck FAIR out the window that I can even call myself a Christian!

So how do I reconcile these? How can I be upset that life isn’t fair and complain to God about it, when the only way I can even have the relationship with God in the first place is because He was willing to put fairness aside, and offer me grace? How can I simultaneously thank God for not requiring fairness, when I demand fairness in my own life in the exact same breath?

I’m still figuring out. But this is what I’ve found: my circumstances – fair or not – cannot change who I am in Christ. I know God is with me, and upholds me. [Isaiah 41:10] I know my peace is from God, because Jesus has overcome the world. [John 16:33] I know God Himself is my peace, and He is with me. [Psalm 46:1-3,7]

I think that my Jesus is the same as He was before I went into this valley, and I know He’ll be the same when I reach the mountain top. My circumstances outwardly may change, but it doesn’t change who He is. And it doesn’t change who I am: I am an adopted daughter of the King, who was only made a daughter by the unfairness of grace.

So Tiff, this is my real response to your question. I hope it makes sense.

“So although I don’t even begin to understand all of who this Jesus is, I’m going to praise God that He isn’t sane,that “he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.” Because that’s good news for a reasonable people like you and me. For we were safe and secure in our sins and indifference, repaying evil with evil, perpetuating the cycle of revenge, when God, who is rich in mental illness, and abounding in unclear thinking died and did good to those who never did anything good for Him. May we unlearn to do the same.” -Mike Donhey, of Tenth Avenue North

Embracing the unfairness of life and grace,
Casey

Sunrise

I think that sometimes, God designs sunrises just for me.

In order for me to get to work on time three days a week, I leave my house at 6:20 AM. That means that at least three days a week, I see the sun rise over the edge of the horizon, casting light over the city and welcoming the new day.

Sometimes, the sunrise seems like just another every day event: it's expected. Sometimes I even get annoyed by it, because I drive East just when it comes over the buildings in the horizon, and it can be blinding.

But other times... other times, it's like God made the sunrise just for me. Similar to how my mom would pack me little, "I love you" notes when she made me lunch for those homeschooling field trips, maybe God is leaving me love notes via the pink and purple hues that ride the dawn. Maybe God's like a painter, selecting my favorite colors, knowing that the combination was just perfect for me.

It caused me to take some time to honestly thank God for everything He created - all too often I take it for granted. I wish I had my camera, so I could have captured the moment and keep it as a reminder (although I was driving, and that would have been dangerous, so it was probably a good thing...). It makes me wonder if God is up in Heaven, thinking, "Casey, I know you love these exact color combinations and you need some encouragement; I made this sunrise with you in mind!" I don't know if God thinks like that. I kind of hope He does.

Maybe the sunrise was for me, or maybe the sun just came up and I took the time to notice it. Maybe God's been working on my heart, which lead me to recognize beauty in what He's already made; maybe my heavenly Father knew I've been a little homesick for my friends this week and needed some extra love. I don't know. I think it might be a combination of everything... and it lead me to thank God for being the Artist that He is, who takes the simplicity of a sunrise and turns it into an encounter with holiness.

Maybe it was made for me, and maybe it wasn't. I really don't know.

But I can tell you that the sunrise was beautiful this morning.


Still amazed,
Casey

Getting Through the Door

Even the government doesn’t want me as their sign language interpreter. Or… something like that.

Recently, I was to work at a governmental place as an interpreter. So, I do my normal procedure: get lost, wander around until I find the place by accident, go through a security metal-detector-thing, fail, and go through again, and find someone who can point me in the right direction. (Directions and passing security metal-detector-things are not among my strengths.)

This is a high security building, so I ask security officers who I need to speak to in order to get into the proper place. I showed them my ‘terp ID badge and verification forms for work, etc., to prove who I am. They respond: “We don’t have a sign language interpreter scheduled today.”

That really wasn’t my question. So I tell them specifically what thing I’ll be interpreting for, the agency I work with, all that stuff. They say no. I tell them I’m going to call my Contact Person in case there was a miscommunication. They say no phones may be used on the premises. I ask if one of them could call to verify instead. They say no.

They won’t let me move forward, and where I’m at, I really can’t go back outside. The extra time I had before the assignment starts is almost gone.

Then - my awesome teammate shows up. He walks through security (passing the metal-detector-thing the first time), comes up to the SAME security guys, and goes, “Hey guys! How’ve you been? Listen, Casey and I are interpreting soon; would you mind taking us back to the room? Thanks.”

And like magic, they let us go to the right location, my teammate leading the way. No questions asked. No need for justification.

It made me come to two logical conclusions:
1. Not even the government wants me as their interpreter.
2. Sometimes, you can’t get where you want to go, without someone else to get you there.

Okay, so number two is actually my main point: I’m suck without someone to go ahead of me. Without my teammate, I wouldn’t have been able to get in. (At least not on time.) Likewise, without Christ – I wouldn’t be able to make it to Heaven.

I had proof that I was a legitimate interpreter today: my ID, my forms, etc. but I didn’t have the right person to get through. In life, you can have all the “right things”: do good works, feed the hungry, be honest, help old ladies cross the street, take care of orphans and widows. All of that stuff is good! But if you don’t have the right Person – that person being Jesus Christ – you’re stuck. You cannot make it into Heaven on your own, if you don’t have the right Person to go ahead of you.

Jesus is the only way to Heaven. It's only through Him that you can be fully justified and allowed to enter.

“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’ ” – John 14:6

That’s what I learned today. And I have a new story to add to my growing list of “One time, when I was interpreting…” stories. It’s almost as amusing as when my student kicked a live roach at me...

Following the Leader,

Casey